All I want is the wind in my hair, [entries|friends|calendar] con_te_partir0 [ website | Myspace ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

I felt it was time to start fresh. [07 Mar 2008|05:34pm] [ mood | confused ] It's been a while since I've posted on an LJ.  But I felt like it was time to start again. This week has really opened my eyes.  People that I used to be very close with have begun to distance themselves from everyone else.  Or, at least it feels that way.  It's like everyone is in there own little academic bubble, not wanting to interact with anyone anymore.  Though, I can't really say that I blame them.  School is quickly coming to an end, and we will all be going our separate ways.  I think that fact alone is finally starting to sink in for everyone.  It will be easier to break off friendships and connections now, rather than waiting and upsetting the feelings even more later on.  Although, I think I am ready for it.  I really want to go to Michigan for college.  I'm ready for a change.  To start completely new and fresh.  Meet new people and make new friends.  I feel like I need it. Mr. Evans visited our class today.  As soon as I saw him, I just started crying.  It's been almost three months since I have seen him, and I didn't even realize how much I missed him until I saw him.  My emotions just... HIT me.  I've been so busy with everything that I guess I hadn't noticed how different things have been without him.  Maybe that's how things would be if I went to college up north.  I would be so distracted that I would be able to handle being away from everyone for so long.  As soon as Mr. Evans left, I felt sad again.. Would that happen when I come back to visit?  When it's time to go back to school, will I be too upset to return?  Maybe I'm strong enough now to handle it.  I'd like to believe that I am.  But what if I'm not?  What happens if I decide to leave, and it's too much for me?  I want to be strong enough to handle leaving things behind. Why can't these kinds of decisions be made FOR me?  The decision of where to go to college, that is.  That would make things easier, because I would have someone else to blame if things don't turn out the way I want them to. Lord, I feel so small sometimes in this big ol' place... 8| give a thought

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